I wrote this one on April 6, 2009 at 4:03am
winning and losing. but mainly winning
Well everybody is really winning at these whole extensive blog things, so ive decided im gunna write one, just like lucy and reach 1000 words cause I think it would be nifty. English is my best subject, so this is going to be easy and I can type well over 100 words in like 20 minutes, so ill just talk about a lot of random things and then shazam, we’ll see where that goes.
I’m Claire Michelle, but most people call me Clarity. My best friend’s name is Madeleine Hayley, and in 2006 she began to call me Clarity for reasons, ive never quite understood. And I really loved the name, and then I started telling people it was my name and people just fully thought it was and then only a few months later, everyone was calling me clarity and that’s how I got my name. I still like being called Claire though, but its always intriguing when people think my name is just clarity, hehe.
Well I like school. Im probably one of the only people who does, but its never bothered me and ive always done relatively well. I don’t like assignments and exams however, and I always drop one grade when I have to do oral assessments versus a written take home one. Im the type of girl who is really easy to be friends with, which has always been pretty neat, apart from im horribly independent, so I lose interest in people easily, and I don’t need people to be around me all the time and I don’t need people to talk to me or anything. I like music best of all it’s the most important factor of my life, I would honestly be lost without it. Music makes everything better, and when I say everything I mean everything. It evokes every single emotion within me and when im upset, I listen to music, when im happy I listen to music. Its my constant source of nostalgia, and I need it like oxygen. Sounds stupid? Well its not. Its everything to me.
I like my city as well. A lot of people think Brisbane is a bit shit, but I love it so much. Ive made the most wonderful friends here and sometimes I feel as though I never want to leave. Ive lived in Melbourne for two years, New Zealand for 6 years, New South Wales for 3 years and Brisbane for 5 years. I think I like living in Brisbane the most, because ive been old enough to acknowledge and appreciate life. When I lived in all those other places I was too small, and I guess my brain wasn’t as good as it is now at seeing things for what they aren’t.
My favourite book is the curious incident of the dog in the night time. This is because I am just like the main character, Christopher, but im not fifteen, or live in England, or have autism. Me and Christopher don’t understand human behavior though. And I really don’t. humans say things they don’t mean, and sometimes they lie to you and theyre good at it, so you don’t even know youre being lied to. And then you get hurt, or sometimes you don’t, and often im not sure which one is worse.
Im constantly trying to analyse everything around me, but I cant, its much too hard. My favourite teacher, my English teacher always tells me my imagination is all over the place. It interests her how I do my assignments so well, because she says I deconstruct things, but I don’t do it in the proper ways, and if I did, then id probably get higher marks in things like modern history, and study of religion. She says my creativity is remarkable though, which I guess is something to be proud of.
Unfortunately, I don’t actually have any real skills, apart from being able to write for extended periods of time, and about nearly nothing at all. People laugh at me a lot, cos im relatively funny for a girl with such a small brain, or maybe that’s why they laugh. I can eat a lot of mentos, I eat a whole packet in less than three minutes, which is a skill I suppose. And sometimes I get this overwhelming urge to be in Brisbane city and then I jump on the nearest train or bus and go. I really like bridges, so much. I like standing on bridges and I like bridges over water and bridges over land. But im scared of water, so when I stand on bridges over water, I often feel sick and dizzy. I have lots of dreams with bridges in them, which is a sign that you need to get over something. Well ive always got something to get over, and im not even joking.
I like meeting people over the internet. I like yoghurt. I like smiling, im good at smiling. I like my laptop, and I like cameras. I love movies, and television shows. I like skins, its my favourite this week. I like slumdog millionaire, and I like dancing. I like it when people don’t understand what im trying to say, and I like recognizing the actions that follow human facial expressions, its hilarious. I like diaries and I like pens. I like cakes and I think ovens are amazing. I don’t like science, because I don’t understand, I don’t like councellors and I don’t like photo frames and nails. I like tape measures, and I like swimming pools, I don’t like power points and I definatley like museums and librarys. And the whale mall. I love the whale mall. I like it when songs make sense with your life and you listen to them on repeat and I like bus rides. I don’t like peak hour and I don’t like Christianity and catholism. I don’t like twilight and I do like hamlet. I like Shakespeare in general and I like the feeling of winning. I don’t often feel like ive won everything though, because im actually very good at losing everything important to me. Maybe I will try harder and start to win things now. Like this blog, its longer than Lucy’s and Stewart’s so ive won. That’s a start right?
1038 words
(it’s so interesting to see how ive changed & also how i havnt…)
I wrote this on July 27, 2009 at 7:38am
in 100 years time
i will be dead
and you will too, and in 100 years time it wont matter that i never got the boy, and no one will care about the guy i married and they wont care that i didnt pass term one of english extension or that i didnt walk my dog enough even though i love him more than life itself, nor will they be interested to know i loved a clockwork orange and that i couldnt sleep in silence and the light and they wont know i failed my friends, or that i loved you and lost you and they wont know my life revolved around music and no one will think i was plagued by nostalgia 24 hours a day and that i keep forgetting to take my antibiotics so i always felt sick and i was dying everyday and i didnt even know it. they are simple little problems that i own and i take care of and theyre things no one can change except me and in 100 years time we will all be gone anyway so things like english and nostalgia and friends and clockwork oranges will just mean nothing because we will all be in the ground and dead and thats okay.
i have a bed to return to,
and a lachlan to wait for in the morning
perfect night ahead x
sleep sweet tumblr
keke, thanks shelbyyy :D
reblog if you love someone this much.
Girl: Slow down, I’m scared.
Boy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary.
Boy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Now slow down!
Boy: Now give me a hug.
Girl: *gives boy hug*
Boy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.
Girl: Alright, now slow down.
Boy: I love you, babe.
Girl: I love you too. Just slow down, PLEASE!
(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of a brake failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 had survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug 1 last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.gosh!
this is sooo sad
eh ehhh
